Interests:christianity, photography, reading, writing, camp counseling, children, college, volunteering, hanging out in coffee shops or at the beach, shows, concerts, car rides, friends, randomness, violin, piano, guitar, the season of autumn, seasons in general, nature, camping, traveling, knitting, baking, sleeping, dreaming, people watching, learning, rebelling, eating, Occupation:Program Director Industry:Other
You have changed so much in the last two weeks. It's like you hit baby puberty. You started gaining weight. Ok, I know I say you gain weight every time because you do, but now you look like a BABY. You're all chunked out and adorable and have that cute little double chin and pot belly and squishy arms and legs. At your one month appointment, you weighed 10.5 lbs and were 22 inches long, meaning you gained 3 lbs and 2 inches since birth. Now I'd guess you're already over 11 lbs. You're like this solid little mass of a person. We don't bother holding your head at ALL anymore, unless of course you're head banging it into our shoulder during a crying fit and we're afraid you're going to hurt yourself.
Other features of baby puberty: baby acne and a voice change. Today you were crying and you sounded so weird to me. Your cries used to be simple and unvaried. We'd hear the usual dinosaur noises interspersed with the "i"m hungry" or "I'm wet" cries. Today your crying seemed lower and your voice was cracking much like a boy hitting puberty. You were also making some funny wheezing cries and WIMPERING. You were whining, not like a baby, but like a small child. Such sad little noises you were making. I would make a sad face and repeat them back to you and you would make an even sadder face and sigh while making yet another sad sound as if to say "nobody understands me." You've also added YELLING to your repertoire of noises. You'll scream at us with something that sounds like a mixture of yelling and laughter. "HA!" you'll say. Other times it's more of a "NAAAAAAAA!" You yell out your demands and start screaming if we don't immediately meet them. It's getting a little harder to tell what you want, to be honest. It's like sometimes you just have to vent about something and let out a lot of drama, and you're fine. Sometimes, you will even stop crying without us. We usually respond promptly, but there are those occasions where we can't-like when I'm stuck on the toilet and you wake up from a nap. After a minute or two of crying, you give it up and just start talking to yourself. It's really cute the way you're learning to self sooth a little bit already. I've been trying to catch all your noises on camera, but it seems that as soon as the camera comes out you either stare at it, transfixed, or you just straight up BAWL your eyes out, so that I end up with a million videos of me looking like the worst mother in the world, recording your pain while you sit and scream about how nobody loves you.
(this was you at only 3 1/2 weeks, but you get the idea)
Last weekend we took you down to IL to hang out with your grandparents and at one point we went out to lunch with your great grandma at Olive Garden. You mostly slept through the meal until the very end, when we had just ordered dessert. Then you woke up with a sudden whimper which dissolved into an urgent SCREAM. Luckily, we'd been seated near other families with small children so most just gave us sympathetic smiles as I whisked you off to the bathroom to see if we could fix your problems. When we got to the handicapped stall with the baby changing center in it, I saw that you had completely crapped through your outfit. Why oh why does this only happen when we are far from home? The entire time I cleaned you up (which took awhile, as I had to fix the diaper situation, remove all your clothing, and then put on new clothing) you WAILED. Your dad said he could hear you from the table, that's how loud you were. You were getting to that inconsolable point of no return, so after I fixed you up, I decided to nurse you. Only, the bathroom didn't have any chairs. And I wasn't wearing a very nursing friendly outfit so I couldn't do it discreetly at our table. So i just sort of stood there awkwardly in the handicapped stall, nursing you standing up.
A few minutes later, I heard a woman or two walk into the bathroom and comment on how there weren't any free stalls. Crap, I think. I'm going to have to emerge from the stall with an infant attached to my boob in order to let other people use the bathroom. Just as I'm working up the courage to pop out of the stall, explaining that while these women crossed their legs, all I was doing was using the stall as a privacy mechanism for breast feeding, I hear the door open in the next stall over and a girl's voice says "you can use the bathroom; I was just using it for this." By the response of the women, i gathered that the girl in the next stall had ALSO been nursing. Oh jeez. Well, at least I wasn't alone. I threw open the door, stepped out with my baby hanging from my boob, looked straight at the girl and said "join the club!" The two women who walked into the bathroom seemed to think this was hilarious. They'd "been there, done that." they told us. We then proceeded to rant about how it should be mandatory to have a chair or two in every woman's bathroom. While nursing with one hand and cleaning crap off my baby's clothes using a tide stick with the other hand, I chatted with the other nursing girl, also a new mom. Her baby was 3 weeks along. And at the time, you were 5 weeks. And I guess the point of this whole story is that you already seemed SO MUCH BIGGER than the 3 week old baby. I felt YEARS ahead of this other mom, like I had SO much more experience. And I'd only been a mom for two extra weeks. It's amazing how much can happen in two short weeks.
In addition to becoming heavier, you're also noticeably "longer." I like to sit you up while holding your forearms. You grip my thumbs with your fists and practice sitting or standing that way. My hands used to entirely engulf your forearms. The other day I noticed I had a good inch of space between my pinky and the crook of your elbow. The purple overalls you were wearing, which used to go down to your feet, now meet your knees instead.
As your limbs get longer, they're also learning to do more things. Your legs are now so strong that they can fully support your weight at times. You LOVE "standing," and you will push at our laps with your feet until we help you stand up. Sometimes, I will stop supporting you fully (while keeping my hands there so you don't fall) and you will literally be standing up without my help. Your arms are even more amazing. You used to flail them around in "one piece." The entire arm would move as one unit. But now, you're starting to bend them at the elbows more often, and you're even sort of reaching for things. You spend time staring at your hands with deep concentration as they flail around, as though trying to figure out just what they are and how you can go about getting them in your mouth. And sometimes you will even bring your hands together; When you do manage to get a hand into your mouth, you sit there sucking on it happily like it's the best thing in the world.
The funniest thing, to me, is watching you use your newfound arms and legs to fight us. You've already learned what you like and don't like, and you will squirm away to the best of your ability when faced with unpleasantness. If I try to remove an eye boogar or clean off a part of your face, forget about it. You squirm your head away like crazy and wrinkle up your face, threatening to scream. If I try to put a burp rag over your arms and under your chin before feeding you, you get so excited about eating that you start cooing at my boob while your arms keep flailing at the rag, removing it from your chin. I literally have to pin your arms down or swaddle you before feeding you if I plan on using a burp rag. If I leave you in your crib unswaddled or if you manage to escape from the swaddle, you will use your arms and legs to turn your body, so that I always find you lying at a different angle than the one I put you in. A few times I have caught you trying to roll over or sit back up if you happen to shlump over in your bumbo chair, and you're already really great at holding your head up, supported by your arms, while rocking back and forth on your stomach. It's only a matter of time before you figure out how to coordinate all those strong body parts of yours, and then we're really in trouble.
Other things you have been doing lately:
Saying "Ah-goo" and other two-syllable sounds Whining communicatively, not just crying out of instinct or reflex Staring at more toys Grabbing my hair while nursing Crapping your pants loudly in church during the silent prayer Blowing spit bubbles
I have a question for people who know digital cameras.
I have a canon digital rebel, and it's always worked great and taken really nice, crisp photos. It's now about 2 years old. however, the past 6 months or so, I've noticed something strange about my photos. Sometimes, especially in dark areas, the photos look strange. They seem to be covered in lots of green and red dots. It's imperceptible unless you make a habit of editing photos like I do. I notice it especially if i zoom in, but it's become so that I'm starting to notice it with "the naked eye" as well. I can't explain it except my pictures are starting to get a weird, newspaper-y quality. here is a cross section of my daughter's face.
In the shadow on the right side, you can see all the red and green blotchiness, like it's a close up of a color newspaper photo. The blotchiness is all over, not just in the dark areas, but it's most noticable with the darker colors. Here is a section of a photo that is supposed to be a dark solid black:
Both of these photos are cross sections of the photos viewed at their maximum size, i.e. the size at which the photo was taken.
I used to be able to zoom to a photo's max. size and it would look exactly the same except magnified. It would be just as crisp. If I zoomed in on a black area, it would be black, not a mess of red and green. I don't know where all this red and green stuff came from. It's not the lighting or external factors because it's been appearing in all of my photos. It's not an external filter either; I've experimented with that too. And I've tried different camera settings. So I'm wondering if anyone knows what it might be. Is the lens broken or going "bad"? Is there some camera part i should have checked out? Is there a camera setting I neglected to check? Ideas are welcome.
Hi all, A friend of mine is trying to get the pepsi grant so she can buy kayaks and equipment for a program she runs for at risk kids. Last time they tried to take the kids kayaking, the kids loved it; unfortunately some kids couldn't go because they didn't have proper clothing or equipment. They're trying to make this a year round program. If they make it into the top 10, they get 50 grand, and they're currently at #35. Please help her by taking 2 minutes to go over there and vote. It's super simple to vote, and you can vote once every day until the end of march. Just click on the link below. Thanks!
Must I express in every single letter I write just how much bigger you've gotten? It's unreal. You've outgrown some onesies, porked up a bit, and acquired SKILLS, girl! Seriously, each and every day you do something new and it's like really? Just like that? All of a sudden? no warm-up or anything? For instance, today your grandpa held you straight up in front of him and bounced your feet against his legs. And suddenly you were pushing his lap with your feet. TRYING TO STAND. Previously, your legs have done plenty of kicking around while you're on your back or stomach. Whenever you had any leverage you'd be using them to launch yourself up against my chin. But when we held you in an upright position, they would usually curl up or just sort of hang there. Now you're realizing you can use them in an attempt to support your weight. A futile attempt, for now, but based on the determination I've seen you exhibit so far, something tells me YOU"LL SHOW US!
Other things you have been doing lately:
1. SMILING! You have been doing this spontaneously here and there, but we've written it off as gas. Yesterday morning, though, you totally smiled IN RESPONSE TO MY SMILE! Oh, to melt a mother's heart. You did it once while I was changing you, catching me completely off guard, and again when I (hurray!) had a camera handy. So I have your first "smiling" picture. It was a quick snapshot so the angle is weird but I'm just happy I caught it:
2. BATTLING YOUR ENORMOUS HEAD. One of your absolute favorite things is to sit upright and practice supporting that wobbly head of yours. And for the most part, you have it under control. When you're able to support it with your neck, you look very proud of yourself, and will start cooing happily.
Sometimes you will go quite awhile with your head centered squarely over your shoulders and then suddenly: FACEPLANT.
Other times your neck gets tired and you start wiggling it around like a drunken sailor. It makes me giggle. When I sense you getting tired or your head has just taken a particularly nasty wobble, I will offer to let you lie down, but this offer is always vehemently refused. It's like "MOM! JUST LET ME DO THIS!" I can see you have a very independent spirit. But you're getting a little ahead of yourself. It's useless to be able to support your head while sitting up if you're not even able to sit up by yourself yet. Which means you usually fuss and squirm until mom or dad come and sit you up so you can practice. This was getting a little tiring for us until we remembered: THE BUMBO. I know you're technically a bit small for it, but I tried it out during dinner tonight and YOU LOVED IT! We set you right there on the table next to us (don't worry, we were supervising) and were able to eat an entire meal while you cooed away while wobbling that head around. You looked so happy like, "see? This is why I always cried during dinner. I just wanted to sit all by myself yet still be a part of things." Duh, mom and dad. Duh.
3. DRINKING FROM A BOTTLE. Daddy gave you your first bottle (full of breast milk) the other day, and you loved it! Your dad loved being able to feed you too. Usually your mean old mom hogs that job. Luckily, you still prefer that mean old mom to the cold, plastic bottle, so it's all good.
4. COOING. You have been making some noises that AREN'T crying or screaming. You actually started doing this around 2 weeks, but it gets better every day.
5. MAKING RIDICULOUS FACES. As usual.
The above pictures were all taken during a span of about five minutes.
6. SLEEPING AT NIGHT! Last night you slept for six hours straight! We're hoping this trend continues, but even the few nights before that you were sleeping 3 or 4 consecutive hours at a time. You usually only wake up about twice per night now, which is really nice. We've established a bedtime routine and you go down in your crib with little to no problems at "bedtime." We put you down when you're still awake, but drowsy, after the routine, and you're usually out within minutes. Sometimes you will fuss once or twice for your pacifier or to be burped, but that's it. And of course you're always good for a cuddle while napping during the day. Here you are napping with "grandpa," whose favorite mode of napping has always been in an arm chair with a hat over his face.
I have videos too, but so far Xanga has rejected me uploading them. I will figure out an alternative method.
Next Monday marks my first official day as a mostly Work At Home Mom (WAHM). I got hired to run an after-school program for inner city kids, but the program itself only operates two or three days a week after school, so I only have to be physically present on those days. The rest of the work I have to do is planning, networking, etc. And I can do a lot of this from home if I have to.
The problem is that my home is so distracting; it breeds laziness. When I am home for long stretches of time, I just don't feel like doing anything but lounging in my bed or on the couch. I fail to accomplish even simple things, like laundry and dishes. When I find myself dreading deadlines, there are methods of escape all around me. So as much as I am glad that I have the opportunity to work from home and not have to hand my child over to some daycare, I worry about myself and my motivation.
When you have a boss expecting you to be at "the office" by a certain time, it's much easier to get out of bed. It still sucks to be jolted awake at that early hour, but you know that if you don't, you will be fired. As a WAHM, I will only be fired if I fail to get things done that I need to get done. So it's easy to wake up at 6:30, say "eh, what's another 2 hours?" and hit the snooze button.
Two things I will miss about work as a WAHM:
1. Going outside every single day. Working outside the home means I have to step outside my house and enjoy the weather a little bit, even if it's only on the walk from my home to my car. It does feel kind of good to head to work wearing nice clothes, a cup of coffee in hand, with a full list of things to do throughout the day. Much nicer than I feel when I spend the entire day in a robe.
2. Interacting with coworkers. Everybody has those annoying coworkers, but for the most part it's nice to chat with someone while pouring yourself some coffee or going on a lunch break.
I think what I'm going to have to do in order to get stuff done is make myself a daily schedule. I will have to behave as though I have a boss expecting me to be to work by 8 a.m. I should make an effort every day to be showered, dressed, and in my "office" every day by 8 a.m., just as I would have to be if I had a job outside the home and had to get my child to daycare every morning. Maybe I will make a habit of going for a walk around the block every morning, just so I feel like I'm "going to work" every day. My dog (and I) could use the exercise anyway. I will have to completely ban myself from the bedroom, that's for sure. My soft, inviting bed is all too tempting. I'm sitting in it right now and already contemplating a nap...
Do you have any advice for me in terms of getting stuff done as a WAHM?
True
